Aight so i'm feelin some kinda way, and i probably won't be able to finish this thought tonight but ill def try to finish later.
right now i feel like everything's going so right and wrong at the same time, it's kinda crazy, im not exactly sure how i should feel right now. School's hella hard and im not even working right now so all i do all the time is sit around and think about how wrong everything seems to be going. im constantly sad and right now im in the perfect mood to cry but i wont, i cant.
i thought that i was over it, i thought that where i stood today in the relationship field was fulfilling but it isn't. dating just makes me nervous, this, he, it, we, us; make me nervous. but would YOU consider that to be a sign of weakness, does he? is it fair that im over my past but selfishly am terribly upset that it just let me go? either way, whether im allowed to feel this way at all or not, i do and im not backing down from it... or am i.
i recently moved out of my mothers house for the first time, im excited, i feel like i've began a new path through my life. something tell's me that it wasn't financially the best thing for me to do RIGHT NOW, but mentally/physically for my own better being, i had to do it for myself, to make me a better me.
this shit's random as hell i know....
BARE WITH ME YA'LL
though i low key know that no one reads this really.
im jealous. broke. lowkey boujee. confused. excited. nervous. unhappy. not as worried as i should be. angry. sad. teary. idk... i wish i knew, i wish i had the guts to tell this to an actual certain someone. but i can't, got too much pride, and i know he'll never read this.
goodnight, til next time
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