Yeah , this is dedicated to you :

I think that you more than anyone in the world knows what this is about, and if you read this and don't know who i'm speaking of then obviously you're just dense! i can't believe how after all the time that has passed how you can so easily do such foul ass things to me, and not directly to me but towards me. i mean i guess that maybe im over exaggeratin a lil, but you of all people know exactly what im trying to say. i put so much thought, energy, love, and care into us & you __ you just threw it away as if it had never meant anything to you. sometimes i sit and think about what the hell it is that makes me feel so goddamn attached to you, and other times when i'm actually with and around you i think to myself "what an absolute beautiful person he is, how can anyone not see what i see in him". idk , i guess i'm just crazy ...crazy about you. "she;they" say i should move on, and though everyone claims to know what it is that im feeling and everyone says they know how hard it is to move on, when really the matter of the fact is that no one knows and no one can really relate. because from what i know (& er'body tells me er'thing] ; none of their situations have been quite like ours. it seems like everytime i think of you i think of everything that we went through together, and i laugh smile and cry all in the same breath. and trust those aint no tears of joy nigga, those mos def be tears of anger and sorrow and hurt. i cant seem to fatham(sp) how you tell me soooooo much diff ish and never ever mean it! i just feel like you tell me lie after lie just to keep me around & i dont think you understand AT ALL how absolutely hOrrible it feels when you do that to me, why do you do that to me. it seems like no matter how many times i talk to you its never enough to satisfy the empty parts of my heart that you used to fill and now that you "can't give me your all" it seems like those places in my <3 will always be empty until you fill them. but i'm afraid __ so afraid that by the time you decide you're ready to be my everything, i will have found someone else to be that plus more. i guess i just don't wanna give you up until that void is filled (even if it isn't filled by you]. i dont care what anyone says and what anyone thinks, im gonna always do whatever i want to do and if that means keeping you around in my life until im just not happy then so be it (sometimes it just gotta be like dat]. but as of right now, im much happier having you "here" than there &w/o me. i always wish you the best, no matter what, but deep down my own selfishness hopes that you're just as miserable without me as i am without you. bc i don't think it's fair for me to go through hell while you live the lavish life w/ or w/o me. like wtf kinda shit is that. all in all , i wish you'd just tell me the truth ; the real truth... word for word. but sometimes wishes are just bullshit. ;& shidd, i guess that's why i stopped wishing at 11:11
damn.


"see maybe there was something wrong and you weren't telling me. maybe the laughs on me, and life was tellin me a joke. maybe..." -pharrell williams.

use a flash if you must

i Just wanna be successful

this is another short blog , im chillin. but listening to this song .  it's quite inspiring so i had to blog about it. of course its by drake.

uuggghhhhhh im done, blog laterrrr

pce

it's not so pleasant & it's not so conventional

i'm listening to fall out boy & Panic! At the disco to keep myself from crying. because boy did i just get my heart broken into a billion tiny little pieces. i'm still not sure how long it's gonna take me to pick the pieces up and put them back together. never in a million kagillion years did i ever think we'd come to the decision that we did on June.15.O9! i'm mos def at my absolute saddest being, i do bounce back to my old self every now and then throughout the day. but i guess everyone has to have their first heartbreak, this is mine. i've been a little hurt , a little sad , maybe even a bit dissappointed ;; but NEVER all of them at the same time. uh oh , im starting to cry again ...

im at work , crying ... who the hell does that, but i can't help it! sooo i'm gonna keep this one short.
glad no one really reads these

"i think i should know how to make love to something innocent without leaving my fingerprints out, l.o.v.e.'s just another word i never learned to pronouce" -30h!3


(:

the money cars clothes & hoe's , i suppose .

so i'm sitting at work right now . really really ready to go home & take a nap ;; i had a looong night lastnight. non the less , best night of my weekend. so i'm slightly overwhelmed by the things going on in my life. i'm broke as hell , but not really & i'm having the worst boy issues that i've ever had in my life. maybe this is some of that light shit that maybe im just not used to yet. "my reality just set in -drizzy", and i know what i need to do to change things in my life, but like i told a few of my close buddz ; im just too afraid of loosing what i've already gotten soooo absolutely comfortable with, something i've fallen absolutely and completely in love with . UGH SUCKIE!

so i'm making a promise to myself to no longer wait on __ (hell , no damn body] anylonger , especially not YOU! and you should know who you are. it's time things progressed & moved along by now , everyone says its long overdue. i know u think so too . i want to have a new l(ove]ike interest , but it's a bit difficult to do when u havent gotten over the previous one, who isn't really all that previous , more like current . "feel like im in crazy competition with the past , that's why i gotta ask .... this here is something personal, i highly doubt this feeling is reversable -drizzy". ... . aaaaaah i wanna cry now , but i have a rule , that to this day i've always abidded(sp) by, so i wont stop today.

duuuuuddddeeee ; on a lighter note , who listens to 3oh3 ? cuz im listening to STARRSTRUKK lmao & im at work rollin on the lyrics to this shit.

aaah, greek weekend this upcoming wknd !! PRETTY NASTY! aayyyyeee we in derrr (:
ok well im off work now , so ill blog later on tonight about whatever's on my mind.

the money cars clothes hoes ; i suppose.